I promise i wont love you
by mesweetescape
Summary: Mikan Sakura aged 16 has solemnly sworn that she will never fall in love with Hyuuga Natsume. Will love be born? Or has it always been there? NXM , R&R - EDITED CHAPTERS.
1. Knowing you

**DISCLAIMER.**

**I promise I won't love you.**

_Knowing you. _

_Chapter one edited version._

His name whispers throughout the halls, invading every piece of privacy that you once had. His name is used so often, it might as well be in the dictionary. His name causes shivers through my spine, twitches in my eye and the urgency to slap myself silly, just because I allowed myself to hear such an atrocity.

His name is Natsume Hyuuga. That selfish, little, egoistical, obnoxious brat.

I'm ecstatic that he doesn't know of my existence.

I hereby declare, Mikan Sakura aged 15 promises to never fall in love with the likes of Natsume Hyuuga.

Easy as cake, I say.

-

-

"Natsume-sama," The girls swoon helplessly as he strides across the hall from them.

One of the girls, flicks her hair and winks. "I think his looking at me."

_Looking to see how idiotic you are, yeah._

"Natsume-sama is so angelic like." Another girl squeals.

I look at her, and raise my eyebrows. Is she serious?

Someone with dark raven hair, blood red eyes and dark rugged features looks _angelic_?

On which planet does she live on? Or has the definition of an angel changed over the years?

"More like a friggin' devil." I mutter. Unfortunately, for me, it wasn't soft enough.

"How dare you call Natsume-sama a devil, you bitch!" The brunette across me yells. My eyes flicker to her, and in some sort of surprising outburst, she yells, "Don't hit me! Stop it!"

Okay, so I've seen some pretty unhealthy people in my life, but this is just crazy. I watched – oh hell, the whole hall watched as she fell to the floor, and started hitting herself. People step back, genuinely scared at first, but as I hear swoons and unnecessary moans get closer I freeze.

"Natsume-sama!" The girl cries, attempting to grab onto his leg, but failing miserably. "She hit me!"

His crimson eyes, I noticed, never left mine and I stare right back. I shrug.

"Think what you want." I hear a few girls snicker as Natsume completely ignores the crying girl as I push through the crowd to leave.

"Finally someone who hates me, ay?" He snorts obnoxiously. I imagined him in a pig nose and tried to hold back my laugh.

"Trust me, you shouldn't even be surprised." I mutter.

"What was that?"

My eyes twitch, and I smirk at him. "Just telling myself how much I love you," I sigh sarcastically, "Oh Natsume."

He smirks, amusement filling his eyes. The crowd around us falls silent as they watch our sarcastic battle, and I almost feel alone with him – if it wasn't for the crying girl on the floor.

"How much is that?"

How much what? How much your face?

"Aw, Natsume – you of all people should know," I wink at him "Don't you remember last night?"

"Not really, no." Snickers explode throughout the hall. Hyuuga, you son of a – "I remember 2nd period though."

I almost choked on my saliva. "That's what she said."

A rumble of laughs from the boys in the hall filled the silence as I watched his face grow more amused every second. Crap, I'm digging my own grave.

I take a step back, already planning my escape route out of here and out of his life.

"Date me," He said, clearly.

One silence, two silence, three Silence.

If it wasn't for the faces of the fan girls in the hall, I would've been just as shocked.

"What?" I laughed. "Are you serious?"

He rolled his eyes tapping the folder in his hands. "No you moron, I'm just _joking_ with you - of course I'm serious."

"_Why?"_

"Why?" A girl mutters shocked and annoyed – clearly recovered from the shock. "Why the hell _not?"_

"Yeah?" I say "Why don't you date him then?"

"How about it, Natsume-sama?" she says sweetly, battering her eyes.

He ignores her completely, much to my amusement. "What happened to your love for me?"

"Shared it with them." I say nonchalantly as I tilt my head towards the crowd. "Now if you excuse me…" I say taking a step back again. "I'm awfully –"

"Compensate." He says simply.

"For what?!"

Annoyed, he swore under his breath. "You shared the love right?"

"…Yeah?"

"Take responsibility." Being a man of so little words, it shocked me that he continued. "I'd rather one, than many."

"I'm not that one, buddy."

"Did I say you were?" He pushed.

"Not completely."

"Don't assume."

"Then why do you want me to date you?"

"To prove you love me."

What an egoistical prick, and what kind of sense is that? Seriously, that's some serial killer logic right there.

"No I won't and I _don't_, even if you were the last human being on the planet, I wouldn't."

"Wanna bet?" He challenged, amusement dead clear in his facial expression.

"Sure, loser. What's the prize?"

He smirks. "My humiliation."

Sounds absolutely fair. "And if you win?"

"Date me."

"One condition buddy,"

"What?"

"You're going to have to fall in love with me too," I smirk. "Unfortunately for you, I only date people who love me."

I turn around, happy that I am leaving so coolly – yeah I know I'm a dork. "So, good luck with that – _not._"

* * *

**Hey there!, Oh gosh, i'm really hoping you like this much much much much more than my old chapter, because let's face it - first chapter was dodgy as.**

**I shouldn't be doing too much changes with this story, maybe the first few chapters, but it shouldn't be changed too much.**

**My other one shot stories are the ones that are changed, of course - i doubt no major changes would be made.**

**Thanks for putting up with my slow, uneven updates, but now that this story is done, i just decided to redo this story, give it a better touch up.**

**Thanks for understanding,**

**and sorry for the inconvenience.**

_Helplessly Lovestruck!_

Review if possible thanks ! (=


	2. Going through hell for you

**DISCLAIMER**

**I promise i won't love you.**

_Going through hell for you._

_Chapter two edited version._

There are many devils in this world but I don't think I will ever underestimate the devils of Imai Hotaru ever again in my life.

Imai Hotaru was blasphemy.

All the little villains in Hollywood movies cannot compare to the troubles of the girl, pretty as a flower yet cold as ice, one of the scariest people in the world.

And no, I am not kidding.

**Flashback**

_Oh, Pick up baby – you know you want me. Pick up, pick up!_

"_Oh man," I moan as I reach for my phone. "Why on earth did I find you even mildly amusing?"_

_My eyes are barely open and I can feel the fatigue within me demanding more sleep. "Hello?" I drawl lazily, making it clear I'm not interested so make it quick._

"_Busy?" Asked a cold voice, I roll my eyes at the sincerity and I shoot back sarcasm in every word._

"_No, just sleeping and you?" I can feel her roll her eyes at my immaturity and to prove my point, I stick my tongue out, aware she cannot see it._

"_Come over," she orders, ignoring my common courtesy in which she seems to lack._

"_To little Twinkle town across the road? Who the hell is this?"_

"_Imai Hotaru." Shit, I did dig my grave. Attracting Hyuuga Natsume's friend? And out of all his friends, I had to attract the ice queen of the school. Well, maybe she's nicer than her reputation states. _

_At that point, pure logic hit me. "How did you get my number?"_

"_Sources." She states simply. I can just imagine, Hyuuga and her having a conversation. No need for hello, unnecessary, no need to ask 'how are you?' I can see it in the way you walk, a simple nod would suffice. End of conversation. Oh man, how I'd love to have one of those mind blowing conversations one day._

_Somehow, I able to slap myself into reality, I look at my alarm clock and drop the phone. It was four freaking AM._

"_WHAT THE FUCK!?"_

_-_

_-_

"_Hotaru," I mutter as I dragged myself across the pavement. "Why didn't you just _drive _here?"_

"_I wouldn't even have had to if you came over, Mikan."_

"_Yeah," I mutter darkly "I'm sure I would've known the way considering you didn't tell me your address."_

_She rolled her eyes at me, "Ask, find out." She said, laying out the options._

"_It was four am in the morning, and I didn't even get ready, I didn't brush my hair, and I'm walking down the street like a fucking zombie in my pajama's and you expected me to find out where you live in Twinkle town?"_

"_Sounds about right," Hotaru glanced at her watch and tsk'ed in dismay. "We're late."_

"_For what?"_

_Hotaru's usually stoic features changed as a smirk grew pronounced on her face._

_-_

_-_

**End of Flashback**

Seriously, I'm warning you now, if she ever calls you at 4am – to hell with it, 2am in the morning without telling you the address, you _do it._ I don't care how you do it, _you do it._ This is a warning coming from a personal victim, and mark my words, you will regret it if you don't follow her orders.

She was not just an ice queen, no – not even a killer one.

She was a devil, she was devil's spawn.

**Flashback**

"_To be Natsume's girlfriend, I think it's only suitable that you wear preferable clothing." Hotaru says nonchalantly glancing at me._

"_Number one, I am not his girlfriend. Number two, I am in Pajama's and Number three, I will not wear clothing that is suitable to the whores that he hangs around." I spat._

"_Number one, you will be. Number two, it's still horrible. Number three, he doesn't even hang around them."_

"_That's exciting, really Hotaru, but I'm fine with what I'm wearing thanks."_

"_I hate your fashion sense." She states._

"_And you think I like yours?" I scoff._

_She glares at me, her violet eyes piercing and I can almost feel _ice _piercing my skin. Now, if you ask me, that's just plain creepy._

_Hotaru shoves – clearly she's angry – a _very very very very_ short black skirt, a tight, white, see through blouse, a black and red tie that had the school symbol engraved onto it and black knee length socks. _

"_What's this?" I murmur, dazed._

"_Food, what the hell does it look like?" She mutters under the breath, clearly annoyed._

"_Right, so I what? Eat it?" I say. I smirk as her face grows more annoyed and she throws pieces of paper at me. As I pick it up to look at it, I could feel all the blood in my body drain. The pictures of me naked in the shower or eating. "How the hell did you get these?"_

"_Sources" she states, "If you don't change, I will post these in every country in the world, and you won't see the end of it."_

"_Right…" I say carefully as I stepped into the change room. "Your sources in here too?" I joke half heartedly._

"_Good guess, it's a punishment for being late."_

_I froze._

**End of Flashback.**

I feel like a porn star! I was dressing up in front of _cameras _for God's sake. I could only make myself feel better by telling myself she wouldn't torture me any further.

"_Nice photos."_ She said to me as I came out of the dressing room.

How the hell was I supposed to react to that?

Throw a table? Trust me, I considered it, but she has connections I tell you – in every little crack and corner like a little spy unit that knows every little secret of yours, and to be honest, I wouldn't want to face her wrath.

I look at myself and let's face it – I looked _good _but I looked like a complete_ slut_. I'd rather look ten times ugly and dorky than this, but I have my whole life on the line here.

The guys stare at me in awe or lust, the girls shoot me unimaginable glares, and suddenly, the feeling of being alone didn't seem so bad anymore.

"Dudes and dudettes," I say in a clear voice, "Let me make this clear, _I was forced into this_, by a _cr- _uh loving...sweet classmate, Hotaru" who snorted in approval, "and a cocky bitch, Hyuuga Natsume."

"I am not _cocky._" I turn around, as I see Natsume checking me out. If he wasn't so hot, I would've puked. Which I was about to, considering I hate him and all.

"Oh yeah?" I challenge. "Who's the hottest boy on campus?"

"Natsume!" girls yell. We both ignore them, and he stares into mine, my eyes losing the heated staring contest we were having right now.

"Now, now Mikan," He says, "Isn't that obvious?"

"I told you, you're cocky."

"I'm just stating facts."

"Right." I say. "By the way, I am not dressing like this for _you_, I'm doing it for my future."

He raises an eyebrow, not comprehending what I'm on about – and frankly I don't _care._ Changing in front of cameras does that to you. I tug at the short skirt in a fail attempt to make it longer, naturally, it wouldn't budge.

"Did you know Hotaru _forced_ me to?" I whisper in his ear, hoping to _whatever there is out there_ that she doesn't hear it, and hold it against me.

I hear him snicker, his crimson eyes boring into mine as he reaches down towards me, "I told her to," he whispers back and before I could even react, places his lips onto mine.

* * *

**Fast progress here, like i always do in the first few chapters of my stories.**

**I should be doing these faster, considering i'm on holidays right now. **

**I think, i have matured in life - not.**

**Well, i hope i've matured in my storytelling. **

**From my last old chapter from this story, thanks many to:**

Flameangel, Princessofcrown101, Ruin princess, Dominqueanne, Sakurapetal246, fan# 1, Irumi Kanzaki, Ayamekochan.

**Hope you enjoyed this much more than i enjoyed writing this.**

**Much love, **

Helplessly lovestruck.


	3. My first kiss with you

**DISCLAIMER.**

**I promise i won't love you.**

_My first kiss with you._

_Chapter three, edited version._

There are a few things in life I wish to preserve until the right time. Don't ask me _when_ the right time is, I'll just_ know_. For example, my first kiss is _definitely not_ the right time here.

Especially not with this – this – this _thing_!

Silence was immediate in the classroom, as it crept across like a plague sealing the mouths of the students in the class, which to maybe my benefit, made me almost_ believe _that this wasn't real.

_This wasn't real, this is a dream, this wasn't real, this was a dream._

Natsume sauntered above me like some evil little ghost until he moved away from me looking directly at me to see my reaction.

"Nightmare?" I asked nonchalantly – hoping it was.

Surprised at first, Natsume shook his head, a smirk prominent in his facial features and it was like an itch underneath my skin that longed for this feeling.

The feeling of slapping this idiot across the face.

"And you wonder why I hate you so much Natsume Hyuuga."

Natsume placed his hand onto the red side of his face and stared at me, now incredibly shocked. A feeling of accomplishment overwhelmed me, why I didn't make this my life dream I didn't understand.

"Grow up Mikan, it was just a kiss." He said abruptly serious, quite annoyed by my actions.

"My_ first_." A part of me just wanted to swear until the dawn breaks, but I kept my cool to a certain degree just in case I don't get charged for man slaughter.

But I was weighing the options nonetheless.

"I don't _care_, Polka." Snorting as he placed his hand back into his pocket casually, keeping his cool.

I stared at him, desperate to prove my point. "To be honest Hyuuga, I don't freaking give a damn who you have a tongue battle with, or who you make out with, however you want to put it, I don't care how many chicks you have screwed but you will definitely not screw with _me_."

I look at him; my eyes brimmed with tears as I shoved past the crowd that had formed around us. "People have their limits Hyuuga," I say my voice cracking. "And you just passed it."

-

-

**Natsume POV.**

Okay, so I wasn't really good at impressing the girls that I was interested in and right now stealing a girl's first kiss wasn't exactly making me feel like the king of the world. I do not understand this weird feeling in the pits of my stomach. Jealously?

No, that can't be right – what on earth could I be jealous of?

"_I don't freaking give a damn who you have a tongue battle with,"_

Was I sad that she didn't like it?

"_Or who you make out with,"_

No, it hurt a bit, but this in the stomach pain was going to be the death of me.

"_I don't care how many chicks you have screwed,"_

Guilt.

"_But you will definitely not screw with _me."

Impossible.

"_People have their limits Hyuuga."_

Never.

"_And you…"_

Natsume Hyuuga, high and mighty God of this forsaken world, will not –_ has not_ felt guilty.

"_Just passed it."_

To hell with _you_, Mikan Sakura. It was _my first kiss too!_

Why on earth are girls so God damn sensitive, what is with you people, first kiss this, you hurt me, I broke my nail.

Girls are so complicated, like a little rubix cube. You can take forever trying to get it right, but you will never understand it.

I can't believe, a girl, such a miniscule part of my life has just made me feel _guilty_.

_Really guilty._

**End of POV.**

**-**

**-**

I was sitting somewhere on the campus, not that I was really aware of _where _I was, I was only aware that big tall green trees enveloped me like a womb to comfort me.

My hair was all over the place and I think I look like some cat that got ran over recently, but managed to stay alive.

To hell with this _school,_ to hell with this_ skirt_ and to hell with _fucking sources._

As big blobs of tears streamed down my face, the little bit of makeup I had on my face streamed down along with it and I cursed hating the day more than I did a few seconds ago.

"You look so ugly when you cry." A voice said so _kindly._

"Your face is ugly." I mutter through out of control sobs.

"Look at me Mikan." I turn around, hesitant at first, but then deciding I really didn't give a damn. Then I see the Hotaru and the whole world flipped upside down.

"What?" I yell, "Do you want to take photos of this and then post it everywhere so everyone can _laugh _at me?" I sniff, rubbing my arm across my nose in a very sanitary way, "Do it! I don't care!"

Hotaru rolled her eyes at me as she threw a napkin at my face. "My camera lens might break at that notion." She says.

If she was trying to make me feel better, it was a poor job. As I rubbed myself clean with the napkin that she gave me, Hotaru sat down beside me.

"I know I probably shouldn't be saying this right now, but I gathered that you would probably find it in some way _amusing_."

Curious, I looked up. "What's amusing?"

She snorted a bit, at my childish reaction but continued. "When you ran away maybe about the 15 girls in the classroom poured their little eyes out because "their Natsume-sama" just kissed a dork."

I laughed happy that something good came out of it, "Dork huh?"

"I'm sure you know."

"Proud to be one," I snort.

"Good, so let's get to class." She says as she lifts herself gracefully off the ground, not bothering to offer me any help. Seriously, where's her common courtesy?

"Do I need to give you back the napkin?"

"Not after what you did to it," she muttered, then she smiles an encouraging smile, and I notice how truly beautiful Hotaru is. "Keep it," she says, "For next time."

"No charge?" I joke.

She looks at me, her eyes eager to make money. "Not this time."

"Thanks, Hotaru." I say genuinely thankful for cheering me up. "You're great."

She shrugs. "I didn't need you to tell me that."

As we were walking off, my little dramatic cry complete, I look at Hotaru.

"Before this, I could've sworn you didn't care, like some little alien from outta space."

"I have emotions. Human." She says in a very contrary tone.

"Like a little egg cup of it, and human? Sounds suspicious to me."

"You're a complete idiot." She states, her usual expression on her face.

"You know you love me,"

Hotaru snorts, "Right."

Hotaru related to Hyuuga? Definitely.

* * *

**I just had an epiphany!**

**So, my new chapters has a more smart aleck Mikan, whilst my older chapters had a more idiotic Mikan.**

**So which one do you prefer? Or would you prefer an intergrated mix of it?**

Review and tell me what you think!

**Any many thanks to the reviewers of the older chapter.**

_Fantasy Fighter, Sakurapetal246, dominiqueanne, princessofcrown101, oura-chan, natsume-meg93, angel, ruin princess, wakakakakaa, Irumi kanazaki._

**Much love,**

Helplessly Lovestruck.


	4. Forgiving you

**DISCLAIMER.**

**I promise i won't love you.**

_Forgiving you._

_Chapter four, edited version._

Grudges are deadly, as you know. Like the movie, freaky thing right there.

That's when I decided that I _will not_ forget about the horrible occurrences that had happened to me just yesterday. Oh, just thinking about it brings that _slapping_ feeling back to me, and that sudden urge to wash my mouth out with soap a dozen times.

_I will not forgive you, Natsume Hyuuga._

I will revenge you.

And I will keep out of your little life till then.

"What are you doing?" Fail.

I straighten up, to see that little handsome obnoxious piggy in front of me, his eyebrows raised in curiosity. "Ignoring you." I say smoothly, as I make an attempt to walk away just the same.

He walks past me, beating me to it with the cool moves, and shoves me in the shoulder causing me to stumble back. _What a prick._

"Don't miss me too much, _Polka._"

"Well, _superman _or whatever the hell _you're_ wearing Hyuuga." I mutter, disappointed my cool act shattered under his cool façade. "I miss life without you."

"Pervert," I hear him murmur, and by the time I turn around triumphantly he was already gone, along with the rest of the corridor.

Who the hell was the real pervert here?

_-_

_-_

"First you run out of class in the middle of a lesson, and then you come late?" The little class president in our class mutters as I walk swiftly passed him. "What comes next?"

I glare at him, clearly not in the mood. "An eraser to your face, if you don't shut up."

He swallows loudly, and people snicker and laugh at him as he settled down quickly in front of the class.

I groan, as I rummaged through my back. Math is the most stupid subject in the world, mostly because, well as a _dork_ – I sucked at math. Maybe because, of the majorly agro teacher that I assumed _had to _do with PMS or something. But most of the time, I just lamely admitted I was just _really bad._

As I kept rummaging, I noticed a green little piece of paper that _definitely _wasn't there this morning. I read it, and feel my eyes almost bulge out of its sockets.

**Sorry.**

I thought of the many people that have offended me in such a way that needed an apology, and class pres over there didn't seem too eager to do so, although this was the case, nor did Natsume.

Then, like a light bulb turning on I remember this morning as he almost shoved me against the wall.

_Don't miss me too much. _

I smirk, at his lame attempt of an apology and stalk to the other side of the room where he was sitting.

"Hyuuga," I snap.

"What?" he says nonchalantly, reading his manga.

"Leave a note in my bag by any chance?" Tossing the piece of paper onto his manga.

He barely looks at it, as he throws it back into my direction. "No."

I sigh and as I begin to leave, I see multiple pieces of green little paper in his bag and smirk in triumph.

_Right, Right. _

"Apology accepted," I murmured, walking back towards my desk.

The corner of his lip curled up a bit, returning to its usual state almost instantly.

"Wimp," I say staring at him.

His eye twitches probably because I just ruined his little pride already, and he looks straight back into my eyes, piercing, deadly. "Maybe he shouldn't have apologized."

"Who said it was a he?"

He snorts, unable to give a great comeback and I smile brightly in return.

For a prideful guy, he apologized and being the nice person I am I think I'll let him off today.

-

-

"You're happy." Hotaru says, bluntly.

I look at her, wondering what the hell I have been other days as I bite into my sandwich.

"Too happy," she says rolling her eyes. "Spill."

I shove the green paper into her hands and I can see her eyes glint as she read it. "No name huh," she growled, unsatisfied she wouldn't get proof of it.

"Doesn't matter." I mutter happily.

She shoots me the biggest dirty I have seen for ages and mimicks me. "Doesn't matter," she says angrily.

If Hotaru was in a bad mood, I better not be the one to set it off. I shift away from her more, in hope that may cool her down, sadly, it did the complete opposite.

"Sit closer, idiot." She orders coldly, glaring at me.

"Excuse me," A voice calls from behind us, and I hear Hotaru groan, I turned around to see a goddamn prince. His eyes were deep blue, while his hair was blonde. "Can I sit next to my girlfriend?"

Say what?

"_Who?" _I hear myself say, and I see Hotaru's bad mood grow infinite times larger. "Oh…_Shit_, I mean, _wow. _Hotaru huh?"

"Yeah…" he says innocently, "It's not that shocking."

"Yes it is." I mutter under my breath, and before I know it I was flying in the air. Muttering under your breath, doesn't seem to _work for me_. When I landed, miraculously it was soft and…warm? "Carpets are comfy to land on," I say gleaming.

"Get off me, Polka." I hear someone grunt.

"Oh! Sorry Natsume!" I say as I scrambled off him, now in usual situations I would've laughed my head off but I felt sorry for him considering _I _landed on him. And as I saw his eyes widen in surprise and _then_ I noticed my dumbly, idiotic, mistake.

I called him by his first name.

His handsome face grew amused, as he watched my face grow shocked and I instantly knew the hole that I dug, grew deeper. He was up to something alright.

He leaned forwards and whispered into my ears huskily. "Don't worry, _Mikan."_ He says, as he kisses me on the cheek lightly. For a guy that just apologized for kissing me, he definitely did not understand that I was _off limits._

I felt blood rush to my cheeks, and instantly I push him away from me. "Sh-Sh-Shuttup!" I protest weakly. I walk away from him, and being as desperate as I am to change the subject I glance at Hotaru, my eyes curious. "Since when did you have a boyfriend?"

She shrugs, stoic as usual, "A while ago." Blonde prince looks at me and smiles gently.

"Ruka Nogi," He introduces as he holds out his hand, "Best friend of Natsume and boyfriend of Hotaru."

How he befriended them was beyond anything, nice gentle dude with emotionless stoic people who hardly talk? Hmm, I wonder how those conversations go.

"Mikan Sakura," I murmur, suddenly shy, aware I don't actually have a title. "Uh, I don't real-"

"My girlfriend," Natsume says his hand snaking my waist.

Ruka looks shocked as Hotaru smirks, eating her crabs. "Congrats?" He says unsurely.

_No_, you idiot!

"Girlfriend, YOUR ASS." I yell as I shove Natsume away from me. I smile politely at Ruka, "You know, being his best friend and all, I'm sure you know how much he loves to _lie, _like the total asshole he is._"_

Ruka nodded, smiling awkwardly as he seated himself next to Hotaru, kissing her on the cheek before she shot him across the other side of the room. "No money, no kiss." She states simply. I stare at her, amazed she's telling her boyfriend to _pay _to kiss her.

I shake my head, as a wave of sympathy overwhelmed me and I focus on the bubbling anger underneath my skin. "As for you _Hyuuga, _I have not fallen for you hence I shall not _date you._ So get it through that thick, thick, head of yours. The _whole_ _population_ wants you Hyuuga, so why choose someone who doesn't want anything to _do with you?" _I say, running my hands through my hair in frustration. "I will _never _be your girlfriend, I will _never _date you. _I am not your toy."_

I stare at him for a second, as I turn to leave annoyed to see his face any longer and I feel a hand clasp around my wrist to turn me around. In no less than a second, he was at my ears and whispers "I like it better when you called me Natsume." He says, as he turns to leave.

Usually, I would dwell on how he _always _gets the cool façade, while I'm stuck with walking out of the cafeteria like a loser, but this time I was aware that Natsume was _not _Natsume. He was angry.

Definitely angry.

* * *

**Here's to chapter four! **

**Hope you enjoyed it . **

**And many thanks again, to the reviewers of the last non edited version of this chapter.**

_Sakurapetal246, Dominqueanne, Natsumemikan06, Irumi Kanzaki, Wakakakakaa, Natsume-meg93, Sakurajenn_

Love, **Helplessly Lovestruck.**


	5. Mental Issues

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.**

**Mental Issues.**

Mikan sighed. She lay back in Hotaru's couch reminiscing what happened a week ago.

It was like they were born to have arguments with each other.

After that day Natsume had completely stopped talking to her, looking to her, having and contact with her for that matter.

She was meant to be happy right?

She got the guy off her back. No more attention. No more sick comments.

No more Natsume Hyuuga.

"So why do I feel so lonely?" Her eyes widened for a second and pushed back the thought.

Impossible.

She probably just missed the noise they made.

Or the reactions she received.

"Or you can just miss him." Said a voice. She looked up at the inventor's boyfriend and pointed her finger.

"Y-you…can read minds?"

Ruka chortled at the dense. "Why of course Mikan. Didn't anyone tell you?" He joked holding back his laugh.

"OMG NO?!" She yelled in horror stepping back. "I DEMAND PRIVACY"

Ruka held his stomach he sat himself down and relaxed still, smiling like he was delusional. "I was kidding."

Mikan muttered something under her breath and turned away. She looked like an idiot. "I spoke out loud didn't I?" she exhaled hitting her forehead.

"Hmmm." Ruka replied looking at her. "Sakura-san…do you miss Natsume?"

Mikan looked at him and looked down at her lap like she wasn't sure. "No. I can't miss such a jerk."

Ruka glanced at her as he removed himself from the chair and strided towards the door. "You know…Sakura-san. Love usually starts with hate."

-

-

_Loving Natsume Hyuuga is forbidden. Loving him is a sin. You hate him. You despise him. Detest him. Hold onto every drop. For you have promised…Never to fall in love with Natsume Hyuuga._

_Ever._

Mikan opened her eyes rubbing them as she got up.

"Seemed to have fallen asleep."

She paused for a second as she remembered her dream.

_You have promised…Never to fall in love with Natsume Hyuuga._

Yeah. She knew it.

Deep down she really hated him. Detested him to the very core.

She doesn't love him. No. Quite the contrary, she hates him.

That's right.

She felt a pain in her chest. "I think I'm feeling sick" She said to no one in particular. She strutted to Hotaru's room telling her about her loath towards Hyuuga while grabbing her chest.

Unconsciously Mikan was crying. Tears formed in the corner of her eyes and they streamed one by one down her face. Hotaru looked at her astonished.

She cuddled Mikan and wiped her tears. "Stop torturing yourself idiot." She said with slight worry. "Denial isn't good for anyone."

Mikan cried even harder and she was unsure why. She couldn't stop crying and the pain in her chest just felt worse. "My chest hurts Hotaru…I think I'm sick" she cried. "Save me!"

Hotaru sighed and hugged her harder. "Only one person can save you now."

"Who?" Mikan asked. Hotaru just shook her head and lay her down on her bed.

"You'll know one day."

-

_Pick up pick up! Friend calling! Pick up pick up friend calling!._

Mikan woke up for the second time of the day. She slightly groaned and picked up her phone with a 'click'.

She sniffed. "Hellooo?"

"Yo." Said a deep voice.

"Y-yo."

"Been a week."

"Mm." she mumbled. She wasn't sure what to say. An hour ago she was complaining to Hotaru how much she hated him, but why does she feel a sense of relief now?

"Have you by any chance…been ignoring me?" she questioned.

"Yeah." He grumbled. She felt a pain in her chest.

"S-sorry" She spilled. She instantly covered her mouth as if regretting those words.

"Hn." She heard him chuckle a bit. "I forgive you but you have go out with me tomorrow."

She reflexively smiled and agreed.

"Tomorrow at 9 then, I'll pick you up."

She smiled again. "Ok."

They had a nice long 2 hour chat and suddenly reality had hit her.

She hated Natsume remember?

_Loving Natsume Hyuuga is forbidden. Loving him is a sin. You hate him. You despise him. Detest him. Hold onto every drop. For you have promised…Never to fall in love with Natsume Hyuuga._

_Ever._

"I got to go." she hurried.

"Ok then. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Y-yeah."

_Beeeep._

"Just this once…" She said. "And It wont happen again."

* * *

**Sorry late update once again! This chapter was a titchh short so i made the upcoming chapter a bit longer! **

**Please enjoy!**

**Thanks for such AWESOME reviews!**

_Blue-rocks15 _

_xXangelicprincessXx_

H_itsuji25_

H_elltishL0Ve_

N_atsume-meg93_

W_akakakakaa_

_Irumi Kanzaki_

_xXRaInBow1269Xx_

S_akurapetal246_

M_angaluver123_

_Tangerinegirl13 _

R_uin princess_

P_rincessofcrown101_

D_ominiqueanne_

**_Helplessly Lovestruck, xox_**


	6. One of a date!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen alice! **

**I promise i wont love you.**

Clothes she wanted played hide and seek while clothes she didn't were in. For once in her life she was caring about what to wear and she couldn't find what she wanted.

Oh why was Kami so cruel?

She shook her head roughly casually hitting herself in the process. With a scowl on her face she stomped towards her cell and thoroughly tapped a few buttons.

_Ring Ring. Ring Ring._

"Yo."

She twitched her brow and gripped the cell tightly as if she was going to explode.

"Hyuuga…" She started.

"You mean Natsume."

"Oh shut up will you?" She growled, frustration within her rising. "Look. I don't want to go out anymore."

"Let me guess" the voice on the other line seemed just as frustrated but he seemed to keep his cool. "You can't be bothered dressing up this early in the morning."

Mikan sweat dropped.

"Err…Yeah. Pretty much."

"Pretty much." Natsume Mimicked. "Now get out of your house. I'm waiting."

"What?"

She heard Natsume sigh from the other line. "I'm outside your house damnit."

"But I said I don't want to go out!!" Mikan complained crawling under her warm blanket.

"You should have said that before 9 idiot."

"I woke up late!!" Mikan cried hitting her bed.

**SLAM.**

Mikan jumped from her bed as she saw her most of her front door broken. She looked at the raven haired boy smirking as if in triumph and at that moment every single cell in her body felt in rage.

"NATSUME!!!!!!"

-

-

Natsume growled as he rubbed the slight purple bump on his head. He shot a glare at the brunette who in return glared straight back.

"You broke my door." She growled.

"You probably broke my head." He shot back. They both wondered why their 'date' had turned out so wrong. The both groaned.

"We still going?" she asked curiously.

"Yes." He muttered. The brunette pouted and stomped towards her room tossing and turning each and every piece of material all over again.

It was going to be a long day.

-

-

A black aura emitted the raven boy's body. He shot a glare at the Mikan's back and grumbled words unheard to the human ear.

Mikan being as idiotic and uncaring about a thought in the world rushed Natsume to the nearest child day care to have their date.

Natsume examined every living thing in the classroom visible to his eye.

It was either the curious 'who are they look' or the annoying 'what the hell are they doing here' look. Natsume muttered colorful language once again.

"Oi." He started "Why the hell are we at a child care centre on a date?"

Mikan took a sip from her bottle of water and slightly glanced at him. "Because I like it here."

"What exactly does that have to do with me?" He growled.

"Nothing." She said taking a look at the children around her. "You can go home if you want." She patted a head smiling. "I frankly don't give a damn."

"What's up your ass?" He muttered.

He really wanted to ask her if it was the time of her month but that would be the end of his life.

He really didn't want that.

"A new load of shit." She replied emotionlessly. "Now, if you don't want to help me with taking care of these children, go home."

Natsume carefully examined her expression.

Her lips were pursed together and her eyebrows were slightly frowned. Her eyes reflected the room light and her hair swayed side to side.

"No." He replied. "I'll stay here."

Mikan face looked at him in curiosity and as soon as she noticed the eye contact she looked away flustered.

She muttered a quick yes and headed towards the manager telling him about the extra helper today.

Natsume sighed.

It seems she thought she didn't plan for him to stay.

-

About ninety nine percent of the children in the class were frightened of Natsume's glares. Mikan rolled her eyes slapping Natsume across the head. She turned to the children and smiled innocently. They shuffled back. She was just as scary as he was.

Natsume chuckled at the children's reaction while Mikan shot him another glare.

"Oh shut up Natsume"

"I wasn't talking." He remarked. Mikan rolled her eyes and shuffled forward to the children apologizing for scaring them.

They being children, forgave her and soon were off playing many games. Natsume looked at her and through each game, he noticed that when she was being bullied, having fun she smiled the whole way. He shook his head.

OH KAMI. What has forsaken him?

Suddenly, he felt a tug on his leg. Natsume glanced to the side subconsciously letting out a groan. A boy with big eyes approached him and smiled innocently. His aqua like eyes stared at him and smiled happily. Natsume just looked at him.

"Uh…Hello." He said unsurely.

"Hello Onii-chan." Natsume looked at the boy and shivered slightly. He was never called onii-chan before. It made him seem so…nice.

"What's your name?" Natsume asked.

"Youichi, Hijiri Youichi." The boy smiled suddenly finding interest with his hands being clasped together.

"Natsume, Hyuuga Natsume." Natsume looked around. While Mikan was occupying a whole class full of students he was hardly occupying one. The kid was occupying himself with his…hands. Natsume raised a brow. "You like clapping your hands huh?"

"Mm." Youichi replied. He smiled a foolish smile and clapped his hands faster. "You do it too! Natsu-nii."

Natsume growled a bit. He looked at his hands and after a long slow process a clasped his hands together.

"That's right!" Laughed Youichi. "You got it! Now you have to do it just a bit faster!" Youichi clapped his hands at a fast rate and looked back at Natsume. "If you practice long and hard like me! You get it thaaaaaaaaat fast."

Natsume slightly nodded thinking about how idiotic he would look. This was ruining his image.

Minute after minute Youichi and Natsume talked and did really random things that Natsume would have thought he would've ever did. He slumped his back.

A date without needing to even talk to Mikan. Oh yeah. Dream come true.

He rolled his eyes and yawned. He lay down on the couch and closed his eyes. Nap time then.

Soon, the children caught sight of this phenomenon ran to him and crawled on, near or beside him beginning to sleep in the process.

Mikan looked at him as he tossed and turned and mumbled at the amount of air he could consume due to the kids and after a while he got up and walked to Mikan.

Youichi who was not fully asleep shot open his eyes and ran towards Natsume.

"Natsu-nii…" He cried. "Why are you with an ugly hag?"

Natsume chuckled and looked at Mikan's angry face. His starting to like this kid.

"Date." He replied emotionless.

Mikan blushed slightly and crouched down to Youichi. She touched his bangs.

"Now now. You-Chan…"

"Don't touch me hag!" he growled hugging Natsume tighter.

Natsume looked at Mikan's growing anger and couldn't help but smirk.

Mikan glared at him.

"You sadistic asshole." She growled.

"Not in front of a kid" he said.

She looked at Youichi on the verge of tears. "S-sorry."

-

-

"Bye Everyone" Mikan smiled. The kids looked so sad but soon were waving their goodbyes.

Natsume just waved in return.

"Natsu-nii." Youichi approached. "Are you coming back?"

Natsume looked at his big aqua like eyes. Tears were flowing on the edge and seemed to look like they would fall off any minute. He smiled slightly. "Probably." He said looking at Mikan's shocked face. "If I go on another date." A sly smirk made its way to his handsome face as Youichi looked at Mikan.

"Old Hag." He demanded. "Bring him next time with you!"

Mikan sweat dropped and laughed nervously. "Uh…sure."

Natsume smiled.

"I'm not coming back unless it's a date." He said nonchalantly walking off towards the door.

Mikan roared her anger at him. "YOU'RE SO MEAN!!"

"Yeah. Well that's life."

"You're depressing too!"

"You're getting off the subject here."

Mikan looked at him. "Natsume." She started "Thanks for today. Youichi has never really spoken much." She smiled. Natsume dumbfounded, looked at her.

"Hn…"

"Want to come with me next week?" she asked.

"Is that a date?"

"No."

"Then no."

Mikan sighed. "Ok ok. Date"

"Okay. I'll come."

Mikan beamed for a second. Then realization hit her.

**SHE WASN'T MEANT TO GO ON ANOTHER DATE!**

* * *

**Uhh!! Sorry for the REALLY slow update. Some things have come up and im going crazy trying to keep up!! xD Please excuse the lateness and i hope you enjoyed my most likely longest chapter in my story so far!! **

**Many thanks to my supporting reviewers!!**

Irumi Kanzaki 

-kradraven-

sHirO-kOi

wakakakakaa

dominiqueanne

xXRaInBow-ChanXx

ruin princess

sakurapetal246

angel

flametrisha

akerue

Cutenatsumexmikan

xXangelicprincessXx

kisami93

Pekopon Pudding

**Some replies to the reviews!**

**sHirO-kOi**: Ahh! Your such a sweet reviewer! Thank you so much! You've enocuoraged me alot! and i hope you continue to enjoy my story!

**wakakakakaa**: Oh, Natsume was ignoring her because she kinda insulted him in the previous chapter xD

**Angel**; Ahaha! i'm actually wondering if i should put a love triangle there or not. although im having second thoughts because i dont want to have and more cliches in my story! but, if love triangles dont work, i'll figure some way to make Natsume jealous! 

**Love Always,**

_Helplessly Lovestruck xox._


	7. You and our stupid arguments

**I promise I won't love you.**

"_You and our stupid arguments."_

_I do not own Gakuen Alice._

**Mikan POV.**

I couldn't believe what was happening. In my life, I have _never_ regretted so many things in a month.

I had to tell Natsume to go to _hell_ in front of the whole fan club. (Which in turn made him notice me)

I had made a bet with him – to _never_ fall in love with him.

I had worn the most _revealing_ high school uniform there was. (Of course, which I was forced into)

I had lost my _first_ kiss.

I had called him by his _first_ name.

I had gone on a _date_ with him

I had then gone on _another_ date with him. (Which I had specifically promised myself I would _not_ do again)

And lastly, most idiotic of all – The date had become a routine to happen _weekly_. (For the sake of Youichi)

Was there anything more _stupid_ I could've done?

Oh yeah, I had developed a _crush_ for him too.

But there was _no way in hell_ – I'd admit that.

_Dream on_ Mikan Sakura.

_Dream on._

**End of POV.**

* * *

Mikan sat at her desk, fumes flaring off her petit body. Ever since, her bet with Natsume, she had been crowned the reputation of "Natsume's toy", "Natsume's girl", "Natsume's crush", "Natsume's Dream" and all those horrifying names that any girl in the school would die for.

Yep, even "Natsume's _toy_."

"Have I been sent to the deepest realms of hell?" Mikan asked no-one in particular as she hit her head on the table with a few '_thumps'_ and surely enough, no-one had looked at her.

It had been something she'd do now, something like a routine.

She'd enter the room, anger leaking out of her body like an engulfing flame and then she would sit down, stare into space for a few minutes and not long later you would hear the sound of her abusing herself.

'_Thump'_ '_thump'_ '_thump'_.

Natsume sighed next to her. Last week seat arrangements had changed, and Natsume, Hotaru, Ruka and herself were on the same table. This of course according to Mikan was something '_rigged'_ and '_uncool_.'

"Will you stop abusing yourself? Seriously, I'm starting to wonder if you have some sort of mental illness. Would you like to check it out?"

"Your so funny Natsume, It's killing me – Maybe you're the reason for my mental illness. Maybe you should visit the cops and tell them you're up for potential murder, maybe then I'll get better."

"You guys never stop arguing do you?" Ruka said sweat-dropping.

"Oh will you three shut your holes?" Hotaru growled.

"Depends on which one," Mikan whispered trying to block her nose and ears. "I don't think it's possible for a human being to close all their holes."

Natsume and Hotaru both slapped her head.

"Idiot." They muttered.

-

* * *

-

"Today's weather's pretty cold." Mikan complained to Natsume hugging herself. Natsume simply ignored her.

Natsume had told Mikan, the following week after their second date that 'there was no way in hell' he was going again unless he walked her home everyday. Mikan who complied with Youichi's every word agreed reluctantly.

"Do you think tomorrow will be a good day?" Mikan asked trying to start small talk but failing miserably.

"I don't really care about the weather." Natsume answered indifferently staring straight ahead.

"You don't care about anything." She mumbled. Natsume smirked and he looked straight into her brown orbs and like a flick of a light, emotion quickly went running from his face.

"Just shut up and walk." He grumbled.

"PMS?" she asked laughing. "Never seen a guy have such big mood swings."

Natsume glared at her and she smiled happily in return.

"Yeah, I'm a girl now – and I can somehow be pregnant too."

"Isn't that a shame?" She commented distractedly. Natsume looked at her curiously.

"A shame for you?" he started winking at her, his playful mood now back. "Shame we can't really be together ay?" he smiled – a crooked smile "Don't worry, I'll turn _gay_ for you. Since I _love_ _you_ so much."

Mikan, who had snapped out of her daydream, just looked at Natsume – no emotion portraying in her face. She looked away.

"Don't mess with me Natsume."

The atmosphere suddenly plummeted into seriousness and all humour faded out of their future conversation.

"Why would I be messing with you?" he asked his brows pulling together. Mikan's lips pursed together as if she was trying to hold her anger back.

"Why did I have to make that stupid bet with you? Why did I have to shout out those stupid words and make you notice me?" She looked at him and her tears flowed from her eyes. She pushed him back. "Why didn't you leave me _alone_ Hyuuga Natsume? Why didn't you _continue_ loving all your little fan minions that glare at me everyday?! Why did you have to say you _loved_ _me_?!"

"How on earth would I know why you did that?" he whispered angrily. "Am I at fault now that I _couldn't_ stay away from you?!"

Mikan's mind blanked. He had tried to stay away from her?

She ended up putting together random words and chucking it at him.

"Stop joking with me Hyuuga. The bet's _over_ – I don't give a damn about your stupid little games. I am _not_ your little toy that you are to mess with. If you want to win the bet so much – be my guest. People we have a winner! Ba-Da-Bing Ba-da-boom."

"I am not _damn_ kidding with you Mikan. So what if I love you? It may be a crush now, and I may not be as head over heels like other people – but this is the _furthest_ I've gotten to loving someone." He looked at her his face emotionless but his eyes had a trace of anger and seriousness.

"Go love the _other_ people more then." She said quietly a bit shocked.

"Who ever said I loved anyone else?" he said seriously.

"Who ever said you didn't?" She waved her arms in the air and walked off. "Who ever said I cared? Who ever said that you have no right to love someone else?"

Natsume followed at an easy pace.

"What if I said I only ever cared for someone like you?"

"Your humour is killing me" She said sarcastically.

"I'm serious."

"Don't bullshit with me. I know the world doesn't revolve around me."

"You are my world."

"You sicken me with your pickup lines"

"And you bother me with your low self esteem." He grabbed her wrist ever so gently yet, with an iron grasped and pulled her forward and kissed her. "Get it through your thick head Mikan; I'm _no_ _longer_ trying to win a bet. I'm trying to win _you_."

* * *

**Ha ha ha ha... I am the sorriest fan fiction author ever. Today, i had suddenly got the idea of what to write on my story -and after a long hour or two of work, i had composed a new chapter after many months of not updating. and now that i finally have, i thank all the reviewers who had encouraged me to update - which had made me continue this story. **

**Many thanks to ;**

_Kairi-neko, AngelicaTheCutie, Patmund, Twaelight, Akerue, Chinesecutie07, A-Z-a-0anime, dominiqueanne, khostar, Cutenatsumexmikan, Ruin princess, ToS-fanatic15, -kradraven-, Wakakakakaa, Irumi Kanzaki, Flametrisha, Alexismarie95, Joanxyla, Brina, Pitarri Tenshi, Youare-who-youare, Her star-lit starlite dream..._

_Your reviews was much needed!_

_You were my motivation in this chapter. Thanks!  
_

**Some replies to some reviewers.**

_Soumyee - I'm sorry that i can cause such trauma to readers. Thanks to your review, i was a bit inspired to add a bit like that into this chapter. _

_-KuroTenshi11- - Haha, so very sorry but i don't have any friendster accounts or anything, but i'll gladly be friends. Thanks for the ideas!  
_

_AYUMU10 - LOL, i had to admit, when i reread my stories i also found myself as some amateur writer, actually i still think of myself as one. haha. Thanks for the praise. your a sweet reviewer._

_**x love always - **Helplessly Lovestruck xox.  
_


	8. Schizophrenia!

**I promise i won't love you.**

_"Schizophrenia?"_

I do not own Gakuen Alice.

"Have you ever wondered if we both have a multiple personality disorder? Or something like schizophrenia?" Mikan said half seriously. Natsume rolled his eyes; did she not understand that he was serious?

"I think you're the one with the multiple personality disorder, haven't I told you to go check it out?"

Mikan's eyes narrowed. "Yeah, well I hope you have a good time in jail. Not only did you commit sexual assault, you're also the reason I have something as horrifying as PMS or something."

Natsume raised a delicate brow also wondering if she had something like ADD. "Wow, I thought females were born to have menstrual cycles," he muttered sarcastically. "Guess not."

Mikan grinned. "I knew I was the smart one out of us."

Natsume mentally slapped his head in frustration. Mikan skipped forward and fell clumsily onto the cold hard snow and while getting up she started laughing. Natsume was starting to worry about her mental health.

"Natsume," she said gently "I don't think I can stop myself anymore. No matter how much I deny it to myself, that I don't love such a creep, I can't help it…" she looked at him her eyes portraying a mixture of emotions. "I think I just lost the bet Natsume."

Natsume was speechless.

"You do have a multiple personality disorder," he said seriously. Mikan's hand swiftly connected to the back of his head.

Natsume smiled a crooked smile and wrapped his warm hands around her.

"I guess that makes two of us." He whispered in her ear.

-

* * *

-

"You're not serious are you?" Hotaru said expressionless, but her eyes betrayed her thoughts. Mikan nodded and she smiled.

"I just think it took us a while to…notice how we felt for each other." Hotaru rolled her eyes. Icky lovey dovey stuff.

"I'm sure Natsume figured quite easily." She stated matter of fact. "I think everyone was just waiting for the idiot to notice."

Mikan rolled her eyes, "Oh gee thanks"

Hotaru smiled. "You're very much welcome."

"Well," Mikan started trying to gather as much dignity as she could. "I did know deep down."

"Yeah, it just needed to dig its way through your dense mind. And thanks to Natsume's _second_ attempt at sexual harassment, it bolted up at the speed of light into and boom! Fireworks."

Failure.

Mikan's face first showed annoyance, anger, surprise and anger again. Hotaru nearly _laughed_ looking at her.

"He _did _sexually assault me!" She glowered surely imagining how to confront her _boyfriend_ about him kissing her. Chances were 100% loss.

"You're a genius!" Hotaru chimed sarcastically.

Mikan stalked out of the room, finding as much points to win the argument as possible.

"Idiot." Hotaru muttered.

-

* * *

-

"NATSUME!!!" She yelled, "HOW DARE YOU!!" Mikan glared at her boyfriend and something like black aura once again leaked out of her body.

Natsume sighed. "What did I do now?" he groaned. "Did Youichi kick you again?"

Mikan looked confused for a second and shook her head, "No you doofus." She mumbled trying to gather her thoughts again. "You kissed me."

Natsume raised a brow. "I didn't even move."

Mikan sighed. "Not at the moment you idiot. I meant, before!"

Natsume's eyes widened for a second and then his face went blank again, his mask repaired. "Oh that,"

"Oh that," Mikan mimicked disgusted. "Stop stealing all my 1st, 2nd _& 3rd_ kisses!"

"I only kissed you twice Mikan." Natsume said.

"Right, well I don't like you kissing me out of nowhere" She said quickly.

Natsume smirked. "Did you like imagine me kissing you the 3rd time or something?"

Mikan blushed bright red. "Hell no!"

Natsume decided to let it drop. He stood up and leaned closer to Mikan's face his ember eyes piercing.

"Well, how about I kiss you now, as a boyfriend and cancel number 1, 2 _and_ 3 out?" His voice was so seductive Mikan almost lost her balance. 

_Almost_.

"There was no 3." She said quietly, avoiding his eyes.

"There could be a 3 or a 1." He breathed.

Mikan stepped back. "Oh look at the time" she said suddenly. "Gotta go!"

Before Natsume could react, Mikan was running away at the speed of light.

Natsume stared at her dumbstruck and chuckled holding his stomach.

"I can't believe I fell for this idiot."

* * *

**Deary me, i have finally updated again. Quite short i must admit. but i hope it was enough for today, i was planning to type the 9th chapter some time this week because i have suddenly been so struck with boredom i think my writing inspiration has jumped up.**

**Thanks Again to the sweet reviewers who have made me strive to continue this story countless times. **

_Konnie, Dominiqueanne, Hazel, Chinesecutie07, crazyandproud344, gaaralover4ever123, Irumi Kanzaki & Black Sapfire._

**Have a HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone. **

**Please Review.**

**x-Love always ; **_Helplessly Lovestruck. xox_


	9. Reminisce

**I promise i won't love you.**

_"Reminisce."_

Gakuen Alice Disclaimer.

* * *

**Author's Note: **_This section of the story is Mikan's proper point of view of what happened the week Natsume had ignored her._

_Sorry for any confusion.  
_

* * *

I didn't know what drew me so much to Natsume Hyuuga, besides the obvious good looks and – ahem sexy voice – ahem and all.

You all must be wondering that was even faster than Romeo & Juliet.

Well deary me, as you have not noticed – I went on dates weekly with Natsume before we started.

And for those who have wondered about my mental capability, you should be wondering about yours too.

Why would Mikan Sakura be the dumb one?

Don't answer.

* * *

I'm known to have good memory too, (besides the 3rd kiss) and I think I know when I started noticing my crush for crimson eyed pervert, and I think then, my stup – awesome mind put my denial gear into full throttle.

I think it was that week that Natsume had – as confirmed – tried staying away from me. I could remember myself walking around half depressed and half deniably happy.

Natsume would always walk away when I came close, and I would always just blink, stare and shrug.

* * *

Ruka would usually come up on me, checking how I was feeling – and I would smile sincerely saying I was fine.

He didn't believe me of course, being confident of his best friend. He would then _constantly_ repeat that hate would turn to love, and I would usually grumble back smart aleck remarks like, "What, was this from experience?" and he would look at me a bit astonished, smile, avoiding the subject and wave goodbye.

Gee, great come back Ruka.

* * *

Hotaru was of course, just as annoyingly logical as usual, it drove me nuts.

"I think Hyuuga's ignoring you because you hurt his feelings" she would say casually, eating crabs.

"Yeah, well how many times has he hurt mine?" I shot back. Her eyes narrowed, probably wondering what was up my ass.

"I don't know – like once?" she said. "The only time you didn't forgive him was the time he actually apologised to you. Which means that was the only time you took what he did to heart."

Stupid common sense.

"Well…" I muttered. "He sucks!"

"Oh gee, and that makes everything his fault." She would say sarcastically.

See? Common sense. You hate me, and I hate you.

Why don't we stay out of each others lives and be even huh?

Guess not.

* * *

Weekly, I'd do normal volunteering at the child care centre, where Youichi sits. When I entered, his big aqua eyes scanned the room instantly.

"Where's Natsu-nii?" he would ask angrily. I'd flinch and say that he wouldn't be coming this week, and he looked genuinely confused. "But he came yesterday."

I remember being so shocked I lost balance and I think Youichi had tried to catch me but failed miserably.

"Natsume," I breathed, trying to gather oxygen. "Did he say anything?"

"Uhmm..." Youichi murmured trying to regain his thoughts. "He asked how you were, and asked if it would be okay if I would take care of you." His eyes scrunched together like wondering why he would say that to him.

Ah, that suggests why he tried to catch me, I remember almost falling once – he laughed at me for 5 minutes straight.

So, there it was, Natsume had been asking people to take care of me.

I nodded and smiled sweetly and I remember Youichi almost crying wondering why Natsume wasn't with me – asking if we we're okay and asking if we would continue coming separately. I had asked him why would that matter, trying to sound as gentle as possible and he murmured "Because Natsume seems really happy when you're with him."

And Youichi broke down.

I think I almost got kicked out of the day care that day.

I hugged him, saying it was okay – that he shouldn't be crying because Natsume was sad, and that he should grow up into someone even better than his hero, that he had the potential to and I genuinely meant every word I said.

I hated seeing Youichi cry.

Naturally, I blamed Natsume.

* * *

Besides the constant annoying voice chanting in my head, it was still possible for my thoughts to linger senselessly to a cocky raven haired guy.

It exasperated me, aggravated me and absolutely irritated me and all I could think was Natsume being a smart aleck and telling me with amusement saturated into his captain obvious tone "It's the same thing."

Well to heck with you Hyuuga!

Deep down a side of me accepted I had liked him, knowing it was coming anyway, and another part of me constantly imagined shoving a stick up his ass telling him to get out of my life.

Personally, I preferred the 2nd choice much more. But my feelings seemed to like controlling my mind.

Stupid teenage hormones.

* * *

The next day, my raging curiosity took the better of me.

"Did Natsu – Hyugga, say anything to you?" I asked failing at my subtlety. Ruka looked at me, smiling sweetly – so cute I wanted to pinch the hell outta his cheeks, but then Hotaru would always signal me that he was _hers._ Of course, I backed off completely.

Hotaru on the other hand snorted loudly.

"Why?" she pushed, "Miss your boyfriend?" I almost felt the urge to puke but I restrained my mature self.

"No." I said keeping a straight face "I was just…curious _and _he is _not _my boyfriend."

Ruka mumbled something incoherent and Hotaru smirked and shook her head. I managed to pick up something like 'torture' and I flinched. Has anyone noticed Hotaru seemed to be more hostile today?

"Well, what if he did tell us something?" she said mischievously. "I thought you didn't want anything to do with him."

I cursed her memory, and I cursed what I said back then.

"Oh." I said trying to be casual. "Yeah, I just…" Blank. Crap. "I just, thought you know, he might have uh, said something about me."

Hotaru snorted again and Ruka slightly elbowed her stomach.

"Don't be too cocky Mikan."

I nodded quickly. "Of course."

When I was just going to remove myself from the inexplicable embarrassment I heard Ruka chime after me "He told us to take care of you Sakura-San."

Before I can react to the shots of the Baka gun, and Ruka's groan in pain, my heart tugged and my face blushed a crimson red.

_The colours of his eyes._

I flinched and was almost grateful I had turned my back on Hotaru and Ruka.

"Shuttup mind" I muttered to myself. "Your not helpful whatsoever." The voice ever so happily replied.

_At least I face reality._

"Why don't you just make me happy?"

_Don't regret it then._

Hence, of course the quote the pessimistic voice a week later.

_Loving Natsume Hyuuga is forbidden. Loving him is a sin. You hate him. You despise him. Detest him. Hold onto every drop. For you have promised…Never to fall in love with Natsume Hyuuga._

_Ever._

You're a genius Mikan.

* * *

**HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE. xD I hope you guys enjoyed year 2008 - and will enjoy 2009 more infinitely.**

**I have updated very fast - in my standards this time and i hope you guys enjoy this chapter.**

**Thanks to the great reviewers whose patience carried out throughout the story.**

_Tenshi07, -kurotenshi11-, -anime-luvr25-, oO 22 Gr3eN Fir3 BalLz Oo, Dominiqueanne_

_**Please Read and Review. **  
_

_**love always x - Helplessly Lovestruck xox.**  
_


	10. Heaven smacked in the middle of hell END

**I promise i won't love you.**

_Heaven smacked right in the middle of hell._

Disclaimer: Oh how i wish i had the talent to.

* * *

"Really," Mikan mutters. "Do you really have to think you're the hottest guy on the planet?"

"As a matter of fact Mikan," Natsume murmured clearly amused. "I know I am."

"Oh geez, I have an ego inflated boyfriend, someone save my sorry ass."

He chuckled against her ear and a shiver ran down her spine.

"No-one has the right to." He whispered his voice seductive, 'Oh god, this guys trying to _seduce_ me' Mikan thought panicked. "You _are _my girlfriend."

"Uh-huh." She said quickly.

"What's wrong Polka?" Natsume asked his seductive moving up a notch, god damn – how seductive can someone get?! "Nervous?" he blew in her ear and she jolted – somehow more against the wall.

"No?" she said, unsure.

"Really now, Polka?"

"It's Mikan you doofus."

He laughed – the hearty cut laugh that little boys have. Mikan thought that was enough to lead her into seductiveness, then she promptly shook her head and slapped herself.

"I don't know what _you_ were thinking, but I was just kidding around." He poked his tongue out and snickered. "Class time idiot, don't want you becoming more stupid as the day goes by."

I stared at him dumbfounded, so this is how Natsume is _romantic_? Nodding I walked towards the door but he wouldn't let me leave unless he held me hand.

-

Sometimes I think I understand Natsume, and then he turns into a completely different person as if that was him all along. It drives me insanely mad, but lately I've had this hunch that's exactly _why _he does it.

But, as much as he pisses me off, I enjoy my every moment with Natsume like tomorrow the world is going to end. He sometimes looks at me, like there was no other girl in the world he could see, and I would stare back helplessly lost in his crimson eyes. He's smiled more often now, his eyes brighter and it gives me a funny feeling inside.

I really think I'm falling deeper in love with Natsume.

"Hey idiot." I heard a voice grunt. "Idiot, hey idiot, are you listening to me? Don't tell me your deaf…do you need to see a doctor?" I slap him, laughing contently and he raises his brow in turn. "What are you on, crack?"

"Something more addictive." I murmured, feeling blood rush quickly to my face. Seeming to understand he snorted.

"Well _baby_," He whispered seductively, he pulled out a rose and handed it to me. "Here."

I stared at the pretty thing, it was a shade darker than his eyes and it was in perfect condition except for the bruise on the left side of the rose. There was hardly a thorn on it and it seemed so utterly beautiful.

"Thank you Natsume…" I murmured, awed by the gesture. He nodded seeming amused as I took the rose in my hand and squeezed it lightly. He turned to continue walking and snickered,

"Oh don't worry, I have plenty," His head turned to look at me, and his handsome face looked so handsome with his tongue poking out. "Fan girls love me."

I stared at him once again, dumbfounded.

"NATSUME, YOU IDIOT!"

I take that back, maybe I'm just falling more and more into a hole in the depths of hell.

Maybe I should gain some information from Hotaru to blackmail him with.

"Hey," he grunted, "are you coming or what?" I laughed again, "That's a really strong drug your taking there." He warned playfully.

"Yeah" I said looping my arm around his.

"Well," he murmured "So am i,"

* * *

**That's the end folks!**

**Hope you enjoyed this fan fic, and my sincere apoligies for the short chapter.**

**Thank you once again for those out there who reviewed this fan fic, and encouraged me to finish this story when i had lost the inspiration to.**

**You guys are awesome ! **

**xox, Helplessly lovestruck.  
**


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